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| Pastor Comfort Luwei |
STOP NAGGING, LIVE BETTER
It is by popular demand that I fish out this very interesting paper I delivered sometime ago at an international women event in Texas a few years back I hope it makes a difference in your lives this Easter Thank you.
What
is Nagging?
The English Dictionary says nagging is a verb, which means
to scold continuously. Personally, I think it goes beyond that. People can
naturally scold if they saw the need to get wrong things corrected. But this is
not what nagging is all about. There are no perfect people or system anywhere
and as result, there are bound to be wrongs. Notwithstanding, to think that
there is justification to nag is only a plot to make one’s self the worst enemy
to people around.
Synonymously, to nag is to be irksome, irritating,
troublesome, harassing, and niggling. This simply tells you that the problem is
not about the issue or the person you complain about as being a burden to you.
It is about the nagging individual, being totally unbearable to put up with.
Simply put that you are the one who is irritating, harassing, etc if you are
the nagging type, and not the other way round!
So a nagging man or woman is the irksome,
irritating, harassing type and so on. How pitiful it is to nag, not even being
nagged at!
This seems more of a feminist character though men
also nag. One of the greatest soccer players of our time in West
Europe lost out of his country world cup squad slated for
Japan/Korea 2002 not because he failed to impress the coach.
He kept finding fault, seeing nothing good about
everyone and everything until the coach was resentful and sent him out of the
camp.
It is really so easy to find out that the nagging
woman, for instance, is often the most insubordinate employee in the workplace.
With no sense of respect for her superiors, colleagues and subordinates at the
office, it is a cheap thing for her to have her husband at home reduced to a
loaf of bread with her mouth. She fails to see anything good as good. This is
often a demonstration of conceit that is deep-seated in pride probably because
some golden opportunities and sizable resources are under her control for the
moment.
And others around her do not have them or do not
really match up with her. This often tags along education, background, societal
class and connection, income prospect amongst other things that could naturally
give a man or woman an economic edge.
Take the words of Solomon in Proverb 21:9, 19 to
heart which says that:
It is better to dwell in a corner of housetop, than
with a brawling woman in a wide house. It is better to dwell in the wilderness
than with a contentious and an angry woman. Women, please Watch It!
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| Pastor Luwei in action |
A young lady once admitted that there is always the
tendency of character derailment especially, in women when they start climbing
the ladder of achievement whether, with or without men’s involvement. She
reveals that there is always a subconscious act of getting increasingly
discontented with status quo. And so,
nagging takes the center stage.
Recent research in the world of science posits that
the speech nerve is the control nerve for the human body.
So it implies that nagging and its contents control
or influence personalities negatively as it engages the tongue to destroy
values, virtues and eventually whatever good remains to be appreciated. Little
wonder, the Scriptures speak strongly on the tongue as the control organ of
destiny (James 3:1-12).
Anyone having this character deficiency, be it a man
or woman, would only earn himself or herself a “stay clear” response from
people. So it is leprosy! This has been responsible for many marital
separations, divorces, job losses,, and failures in various aspects of life and
ultimately, living in isolation. Proverbs 19:13 puts it this way that:
… The contentions of a wife are a continual
dropping.
There is a story of a female minister of the Gospel
who went about the ministry at the expense of her family and marriage. Make no
mistake about it, my friend. The degree of integrity for ministry is the same
for marriage and family life. God will hold you responsible in the same measure
for both. Remember Adam (Genesis 3) and the
Priest Eli (1 Samuel 2 & 3).
ON GOD’S PART, THERE IS ZERO TOLERANCE FOR FAILURE
IN MARRIAGE AND MINISTRY!
This woman neglected her husband in every sense and
often referred to him, who does not know as much as she does about the things
of God, as the devil on her way to serving God. The flames of hell around her
husband were heated the more with her nagging until the poor man decided to find
happiness elsewhere.
Then he left without any announcement to the woman
but it was late to have things restored with that man by the time she realized
her wrong. And to make matters worse, the ministry, because of which she lost
out on marriage began falling apart. There is no way you can administer well in
ministry without consistency in the administration of family life. Failure at
home in most cases, result to failure in the ministry. One way by which the
comeliness of a woman could be despised or sneered at without any consideration
is when she nags. Often, people regard suffering as pleasure in comparison with
having access to a world of goodies and a nagging woman on standby.
Proverbs 25:24 explains better:
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than
with a brawling woman in a wide house.
May this not be your experience in Jesus’ name!
A recruitment outfit carried out a research on job
loss, using survey tools for a few thousand people who lost their jobs. It was
discovered that 80-90% of them lost their job, not to incompetence on the job
but to poor attitudinal skills and a very large chunk of this category had
their failures in professional callings rooted in failure in their marriages.
And you may be surprised to know that nagging is a dominant trait.
Today, literal lepers may be hard to find but most
people on the streets, workplaces, homes, gatherings and the society at large
have one undesirable quality or the other that are both contagious and ripping
off in effect on others within the spheres of their daily contacts. A common
adage goes thus: “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This
tells how often we imbibe or inculcate ungodly attitudes from people around us.
Proverbs 22:24-25 admonishes that we:
Make no friendship with an angry man: and with a
furious man you shall not go: less you learn his ways, and get a snare to your
soul.
Also 1 Corinthians 15:33 states that
…Evil communications corrupt good manners.
And Proverbs 13:20 also says:
He that walks with the wise shall be wise…
So you can tell for yourself the fate of whoever
walks with the fool and more particularly the nagging man or woman. Birds of
the same feathers flock together. So, it is very difficult to put up with a
thief, promiscuous fellow or any ill-mannered person without such personality
rubbing off on you. So watch out and be careful.
Pastor Comfort Luwei is founder Faithful Women Intercessory, Interdenominational Ministries
